Why We All Need Participation Trophies

I played a lot of sports as a kid. I was a perennial all-star in both basketball and baseball up until high school. I had a shelf full of trophies displaying all of my accomplishments. A trophy I never had on my shelf was a participation trophy. No thank you.

Participation Trophy

It occurs to me that there may never have been a generation before ours with such an ingrained sense of entitlement. Rather than bumper stickers touting the fact that your student made the honor roll, I see ones that say “My child won the monthly attendance award”. Well, color me impressed.

I’m not an advocate of making anyone feel entitled but we have a tendency to over-correct. The reason the idea of participation trophies even came about was to correct our society’s glorification of winners. The mentality is that if you win, you’re valuable but if you lose, you’re a loser. Yet another label I despise.

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Confusing Criticism For Failure

I long for validation. I’m not talking about kind words from an acquaintance. I’m talking about weighty validation from someone I respect. But many times I sabotage a compliment before it can even come.

Have you ever created something that you loved and then felt like you hated it?

Failure & Criticism

I’ve actually apologized for my creativity. I’ve done it before anyone could make a comment just so that I can protect my heart from criticism.

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On Failure and Hope

There’s a video on YouTube of a dad recording a little boy after riding his bike for the first time. The boy is so excited he can barely get his words out to describe how he feels. His dad encourages him to share some wisdom with others and the boy proceeds to give one of the most inspiring speeches I’ve ever heard.

I don’t have any background on the video but I have a feeling that this boy had been at it for a long time. Why else would he be so excited? His perseverance finally paid off and he was a success. His dad was excited as well and was the one encouraging him to share with others. I’m sure he was there the whole time while his son continued to fall off the bike and he helped him get back on it.

Watching the result of his victory made me ask myself a question.

Does God want us to fail?

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The Anti-Resolution

If you’re like me, you have probably already OD’d on hearing about New Year’s Resolutions or the One Word of the year. I’m pretty sure I read my body weight in blog posts about these subjects. It’s all good and very ambitious. But what would it look like to have an anti-resolution for the year?

A good friend of mine named Carla just started blogging. She inspired me to something I’ve never had the courage to face with the right perspective:

Failure

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Top 9 Posts of 2011

As I reflect back over this year, I see how many great things have happened. My blog has grown more than I expected, my writing has improved and I wrote more this year than I have in the past 10 years.

I’ve been able to write about the most memorable personal aspects of my life like meeting and marrying the woman of my dreams (and a fellow blogger) and quitting my job to pursue a dream.

All in all, I can say that this has been one of the best years of my life. And I know that 2012 will only get better. So with that, I give you my top 9 posts (because who needs 10?) of 2011:

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Recovering Identity

Today’s guest post comes from Marni Arnold. She’s sharing a story of recovering identity after losing it in her relationships. I can definitely relate. I hope you enjoy it!

Typically, December only held within it four major occurrences in my life – the anniversary of my salvation, my husband’s birthday, Christmas and New Year’s Eve. However, 5 years ago – my life changed drastically on December 19th, 2006.

At the time, before Facebook really took off, MySpace was the dominator in social networking. I utilized this platform at the time, and on this night I found myself utilizing it to see if [by chance] I could find someone I had been sporadically looking for on and off for 8 years since I learned about him.

My half-brother.

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Love and Humility

Two of my favorite virtues are love and humility. They are two of the qualities in a person I respect most. But it wasn’t until I heard this phrase from a mentor that my perspective was completely shifted:

Love gives. Humility receives.

Love

I’ve always thought of love as being something that happens to two people. I’ve seen people say that they love without being loved in return. But I was pretty sure that at the end of it all, I felt that the lover was foolish and couldn’t sustain it.

I thought of love as a two-way transaction. If it only goes one way, it is not complete. But then I understood this truth:

The truest, most perfect love is the one that is not reciprocated.

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Labels Lie

I’ve been labeled a lot of things in my life. Some good. Some not so good. Some by others. Some by myself. And you know what?

All of them fall short of describing me.

I understand why people use labels. It’s an easy way to compartmentalize complexity. Multifaceted subjects take effort to fully understand. Labels remove the required effort and provide you with a nice and tidy box.

But labels are toxic.

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Rejecting Safe Faith

A few years ago I went to the Empire State Building. My sister and I, both the polar opposite of trapeze artists, decided to go out to the observation deck on the 86th floor. Aside from the fact that it was freezing up there, the view was paralyzing.

On that 360 degree observation deck, the only thing that keeps you from plunging to your death is a wall of concrete about 2 feet thick and a wireframe fence. To say that we weren’t exactly comfortable up there would be the understatement of the year.

It was difficult to fully appreciate the spectacular view because we were more worried about the little boy that jumped up on the wall and stuck his head through the gate to get a better view of the street. If I wasn’t so terrified for my own safety, I would have pulled him back to the ground and called child advocacy on his parents!

After a few minutes of feigning bravery, we had enough and scurried back inside for safety and warmth.

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Dreaming Awake

I’ve written a lot about dreaming. I even started a series called Awaken The Dreamers a few months ago. It’s a been a significant focus for me this year. I wanted to use the series to encourage myself and others. I even contemplated writing a book about it. Then I stopped writing about dreaming all together.

Honestly, I got tired of talking about it. You can only theorize for so long before you start to question if the idea is really possible in your own life.

Today all that changes. Today I became a Quitter.

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