But Is It An Idol?
I was having an eye-opening conversation with a friend recently. He has been at a place in his life where he is frustrated…tormented even. He has been struggling with a heaviness that was clouding his life. He serves the Lord with all his heart, has a wonderful family that supports him and on the outside appears to have everything together. After asking questions and getting to the root of his issue, it turns out that the thing he was most passionate about had been laid on the altar before God. He was afraid that his dream would become an idol. He had spent most of His life serving God sacrificially. Unfortunately the life he was living for the Lord was making him miserable, unfulfilled and on the brink of burnout.
I believe that somewhere along the lines in our walk with Christ where we decide to really give our lives to the Lord with abandon, we develop this mindset that carrying our cross means living a life of misery for Jesus and having to like it. We think that if we find ourselves unhappy in a life that we believe is “fully dedicated” to Him, clearly we have disappointed God. But what does it really mean to “take up our cross”?
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” Luke 9:23-25
The langauge here is pretty clear. Jesus wants us to die to ourselves. Let’s look at another translation. The message translation says:
“Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.”
There are a couple of interesting things in this translation stick out to me.
- The metaphor – I feel this one is more relevant to today’s culture. God is in the driver’s seat (none of this co-pilot nonsense). He’s in control.
- Suffering – While it says do not run from suffering, Jesus isn’t asking us to run “to” suffering. Someone once told me that Jesus never ran from anyone or to anything. He always knew where He was going. He always led the way. I like how the verse says “follow me and I’ll show you how.”
- Finding yourself – I like the wording about finding your “true self”. I believe Jesus wants us to die to who we “think” we are. He knows that without Him our identities are rooted in fear and selfish ambition. But once we lay that down and follow Him, He’ll show us who we really are. Living a life of confidence in who He says we are is true humility.
My Dreams, His Dreams
Many people believe that when they deny themselves, they have to deny their dreams as well. After all, aren’t “MY” dreams selfish? Anything that makes me happy clearly isn’t from God and is self-seeking. I am called to live a life of sacrifice and suffering, right?
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
Almost paradoxically, David writes this Psalm in the midst of tribulation. He writes in the midst of feelings of abandonment and forsakeness. He doesn’t say “humble yourself and in your humilitation, God will give you a check mark in the Book of Life.” He gives us great encouragement…but it is conditional.
Last week my friend Cris wrote this line in her post. I had to read it a few times for it to really sink in:
“God gives me the desires of my heart, then He goes and gives me the desires of my heart.”
When we fulfill our committment (delight yourself in the Lord), He fulfills His promise. First he gives us our desires. He purifies our hearts and motives. From that place of abiding in Him, He places His desires in our hearts.
Once those desires have been placed in our hearts, He then goes and gives them to us. He does it for two reasons. The first is because they are “His desires”. He will receive glory. Secondly, He does it because He loves us. He wants us to serve Him with joy. He’s not about heavy yokes and burdens.
The Martyr Complex
I have seen too many people take on a martyr complex when it comes to serving the Lord. I believe many people that think they are serving the Lord, are really serving themselves.
If you don’t feel one ounce of grace to accomplish the work that “God has called you to”, you may have called yourself to it.
I’m reading “The God Who Smokes” by Timothy Stoner and one particular passage stuck out to me. This is what he says:
“In my childhood, I had wanted to be a writer. As I grew up the dream was flattened under the logical and spiritual weight of making my life ‘count’ for God.”
For some reason, many of us believe that making our life count for God means voluntarily living a life of “suffering for the ministry”. This is much different than embracing suffering for the Lord “when it comes”. Some people seek out the most difficult lifestyles, and think that will please God because of their self-sacrifice. I believe these people are in grave danger of burnout because they are going in their own strength.
God is not looking for self-appointed martyrs, He’s raising up sons and daughters. No good father is going to allow His sons or daughters to go without everything they need. No good father is going to want his children to live a life of suffering and lack. A good father is going to tell his children, “you can do anything you want when you grow up!”
Identifying The Idol
Here are a few practical questions you can ask yourself to evaluate if your dream is your own selfish ambition or God’s dream:
- Can I delight myself in the Lord? If you can continually delight yourself in the Lord when living out your dream, then God is the one who put this in your heart. Are you enjoying what you do and thus be able to always give thanks? This should be reflected when you interact with people, weather you are playing a professional sport or you are a missionary in Zambia.
- Can I give God the glory? My friend Jason wrote a post recently about the Daytona 500 winner Trevor Bayne. This kid couldn’t stop talking about God when he won. His testimony went out before millions of people just because of the position that God put him in. How’s that for a big dream given by God?
- Is my life bearing fruit? External fruit is important but don’t forget internal fruit. Ask yourself if you are continually growing in your relationship with the Lord. Not just in knowledge but in character. The first signs of real fruit will always start in your home. Is their fruit in your marriage? Is there fruit in your children?
If you are currently living a life “dedicated” to God in full time ministry, these are good questions to ask as well. You may come to some sobering conclusions when you answer honestly.
Fully Alive
I believe that we give God the most glory when we are living lives that are full of joy and passion. There is no better testimony of God’s goodness than to see a person that lives an incredible life and always points back to God in everything they do.
I believe we are a generation that can redefine what that looks like. Not all of us are going to be full time on the mission field. Not all of us are going to be pastors, teachers or worship leaders. But all of us are called to be leaders. There is no spectator Christianity.
Let’s live fully alive. Let’s let God define who we are and find our security in that place as His sons and daughters. Let’s delight ourselves in the Lord. Then let’s start dreaming!
Do you believe the dreams in your heart line up with God’s plan for your life?
LOVE it! This is a well-balanced look at how we treat our dreams and visions.
I have been saddened by the amount of “motivational speaking” type preaching over the preaching of the Gospel of Christ. Many ministers and lay folks have elevated pursuit of the dream over pursuit of Christ. There’s prevalent evidence across all media outlets of our culture’s glorification of the dream over the Gospel. There’s a real and frightening disconnect.
That said, Jesus had a dream…Our redemption. He fiercely and confidently went after it. While doing so, He kept His heart and mind always on our Father. His relationship with the Father is what what kept Him going through the rejection, misunderstanding, and vehement opposition He faced as He headed toward seeing that dream come true. Nothing else can sustain a dream we have in our hearts except keeping our focus solely on Him.
As we pursue the dreams He’s given us, I pray we keep our hearts smack dab in the center of His dream…Children loving our Father and serving Him with joy.
I’ve seen the same thing. I love dreaming big and talk about living life to the fullest but the key theme that undergirds it all must be identity. If you don’t know who you are in Christ, your dream becomes your idol. Even worse, you’ll be so blinded that you don’t even realize it.
I want to be smack dab in the middle of His dream always! Thanks for the great thoughts, Angie!
Thanks for pointing me to this, some good thoughts. Often, when we feel so burdened by what we think is living for the Lord, our problem is more that we’ve been pursuing a flawed idea of what “serving the Lord” really means rather than pursuing the Lord Himself! Jesus said to come to Him “… Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light” (Matthew 11:29-30 NLT). Is Jesus a liar? No. So realizing this exhortation of His not only is possible, but is His idea for all who follow Him. I appreciate what you shared, good job! By the way, your post here really goes to my point we twittered about. When leaders are spending their time teaching people to achieve great visions for God, goal setting, success building, etc., we wind up with biblically illiterate people who don’t understand what scripture really says about what it means to follow Christ, what it really means to deny self and take up their crosses, what it really means to delight in the Lord. Without an accurate biblical understanding, you have many who wind up as you’ve described above.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Scotty. I definitely agree that as Christians, you can’t talk about visions, goals and success without having Jesus and His mission at the center of it all. We end up building our own dreams which can easily become idols that are exalted above Jesus.
Thanks again for the dialogue on this topic!
I enjoyed this immensely, and its beneficial because God is laying the foundation for a dream and a vision in myy life. Not for my life but for a season I think.
Thanks John. It was great to hear some of what God put in your heart last night. Looking forward to hearing more over a delicious burger (that will change your life by the way).
Great post, Tony. I think this is why most church plants die in very short amounts of time. Obviously resources and the church planting environment may be too much, but I think many men who thought they wanted to be pastors realized they just wanted to get on stage and revel in their own glory rather than giving all glory to God.
It’s definitely all about lining up with God’s heart. I think things would look a lot differently if we did that instead of looking at “how everyone else is doing it”.
Yes, we are meant for joy! That certainly doesn’t mean everything is easy, but we can press into His best. I liked this too, “…Jesus never ran from anyone or to anything. He always knew where He was going.” Great post, Tony. Thanks.
Yeah, talk about confidence in knowing who you are. I love that in everything He did, I continually learn from Jesus.
Those are great questions to ask about our dreams! Sometimes we feel like we’re in too deep to reevaluate something, but that’s not really true. We should always be looking for God in what we’re doing, no matter how long we’ve been doing it. Thanks for the great thoughts!
Yeah man, that’s good. Sometimes we think we’ve invested so much that we are terrified that we may not be doing what we were truly created to do. We don’t want to look foolish or feel like we’ve wasted our time. I don’t think that’s ever the case though. I believe God’s grace is bigger than any wrong turn we’ve made.
Wonderful post, Tony. I’m learning that my deep dreams – thoughts that only God knows, are being revealed in my public life through opportunities he has provided. In other words -as soon as I started praying for eternal provision, and not worldly provision – my life changed. Sounds weird to write that out – but it’s truth.
Love it, man! I knew that the moment I met you that God was going to use your life and testimony to bring Him glory. I’m believing with you for more!
Wow! Tony, I needed this today! I’ve been battling through some tough stuff the past 2 weeks (and more) trying to figure out where God is taking me with the dream He’s given. There is a major roadblock! But He gave the dream and I believe He will make it happen. Thank you for the encouragement NOT to make it all an idol, which I think I’ve done by being so obsessed with trying to figure it all out. I’ve been angry, fearful, questioning, etc. Your reminder that He will accomplish, in HIS time, what it is He has for me to do, was for my day! Awesome post!
Good point Kathy. It reinforces that if He gives you the “desire”, He will “give you the desire. Sure it will take effort but He always does the heavy lifting for us.
Thanks for stopping by today!
As of late I’ve been reading different blogs of youth ministry workers and about them being burnt out, wondering if what they’re doing is really they’re calling, and unknowingly trying to be that martyr they think they need to be. It’s unattractive, and it’s incorrect.
I’m so very glad I was shown a completely different way at a young age, and I definitely believe the dreams we are pursuing now line up with what God planned.
You nailed it in this Tony.
That’s awesome Ben. I’m glad you’re in a place to speak into the lives of those young people.
Tony, another great post.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my dreams, purpose and God’s plan in my life lately (last week, I wrote a post telling about when God fulfilled one of my dreams), and I’ve been finding some awesome insights in your posts. I believe God left some messages there for me…
Keep them coming, please!
Thank you so much Cris and I’m glad you’ve been encouraged! Keep dreaming!
As Erwin Mcmanus once wrote, “When you’re passionate about God, you can trust your passions.” God wants wholehearted obedience, and when we give that up to Him, He will undoubtedly honor that.
Tony, this post seriously laid it out for us. Thank you!
Great quote, D. Too bad you didn’t read my mind and send it to me a few days ago when I started writing this post. Ha!
Just a thought… denying self and taking up our cross… speaks volumes to me about denying our sinfulness as we pursue (or follow) Christ. If our dreams or passions are for things of this world that would distract or separate us from God then we most definitely need to abandon them…
When we line our passions up with God, they will not hinder our pursuit but instead they will compliment our walk and service to Him.
Don;t know if I am making sense…I’m very low on sleep and the energy meter is in the reserves…
Shortly, I’ll crawl back into my cave, but before I do:
1: A desire for self gratification (porn, gambling, greed, power, etc…) that be bad… Run from it and its ilk.
2: A passion for technology, accounting, mechanics, bicycling, people, food…etc… if used in pursuit of God for His glory…that be good… Run with it.
Again if this makes no sense, I blame the lack of sleep. Anyone want two Minnie Dachshunds? I’m almost to the point of paying someone to take them. Of course, I’ll be looking for a home shortly after since my wife and daughter will disown me.
Absolutely makes sense man. And no, I do not want your dogs. But you can sleep on my couch if you get kicked out!
Brother… A TO THE MEN!!!! Whoo hoo!
People so need to be preaching this message more… so much of the exhortation and encouragement that I do w/folks is to encourage them that ministry does not mean drudgery. How does it glorify God when we are miserable all the time? That is suffering for suffering sake, not for God.
this is an awesome post Tony
You’re awesome Jenny. We’re always on the same page with this kind of stuff!
Dude, no such things as spectators in Christianity! LIKE!!!
This may be tangent from the “misery” discussion. But, last year I did a study on the “wilderness”. I felt like such a half-butt Christian because I couldn’t think of a “wilderness” time in my life. I kept wondering if I was lying to myself or not close enough to God to even know what a wilderness period is like. And, the teacher kept saying that God brings us to a wilderness to raise us up. Then, I started to fear the wilderness. Could it strike at any moment? Was it just around the corner? In a way, this study reminds me a lot of what you’re talking about in the sense of living a life of misery for Jesus. The jury’s still out for me about the whole wildnerness thing. I know that we can go through wilderness periods in our lives, but I don’t know that God brings them to us.
I think so many people have taken the phrase “desires of your heart” out of context to use it to mean God will give me what I want. I actually wrote a post about that: http://popparables.com/2010/11/the-desires-of-your-heart/ I think you did a great job of staying true to the meaning, Tony!
And, do my dreams line up with God’s? Some of them do. Some of them, I’m not so sure. I’m waiting for God to reveal to me what His plan is in certain areas.
I wrote about my wilderness experience here: http://www.tonyjalicea.com/2010/08/reflections-on-israel-pt-3/
I’m interested to read your thoughts on the “desires”. I’m headed over there now.
I like the point the Jonathan Edwards, and subsequently John Piper make about desiring God: He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. Satisfaction IN God glorifies Him the most. When we delight ourselves in the Lord (not delighting things, while in relationship with Him but delighting in Him), He becomes the desires of our hearts and that is exactly what we get…HIM.
Yes sir. I love your reformed sensibilities. You might be interested in my post tomorrow. Or not.
Those questions are great, Tony! And your friend was right on about our desires and God. He gives us our talents, our passions, our desires…and we hand them back to Him to do what He will with them. I see it like a child dedication. God gave me my son, but I turn around and hand him right back to God. I still am responsible for raising and training up my child, but ultimately it’s all up to God and I need to make sure my son looks to God for everything and not me.
I’m laughing to myself because I pictured God handing you your child and you saying, “Nope, here you go” and handing him right back to God. Yes, I have quite an imagination.
I can usually tell if they are my dreams, because they change frequently. His dreams recur throughout my life, often in surprising ways. I didn’t write anything, for years, beyond an academic paper or a note saying I would be home late. But since I was in the first grade, and started putting words to paper, it’s been my dream to write.
It’s not about talent. God supplies what we lack. We develop a talent through practice, but God gives the increase.
Dreams are what we have when talent isn’t a consideration. I dream of pursuing a seminary degree. My dream isn’t to pastor, but to write. I don’t think I have the talent of Donald Miller or Francis Chan or Phillip Yancey, but the dream is there for a reason and I’m going to go after it, because God must have a plan to make up for my deficiency, because he planted the dream in me.
I’m believing that with you. It’s totally going to happen. Maybe I’ll get to write the forward on one of those books! You like how I make it all about me, right?
Being miserable is not a fruit of the Spirit. Good words, Tony.
You’re right. I double-checked it too.
There is no doubt that God wants us to live for him. He has called us to follow him. You have done a great job of pointing out what “denying oneself” really means.
How are we to reach the accountants, politicians, musicians, etc.. if we all go to the “mission field”?
I think God has put us where we are so that we can reach those people who necessarily don’t fit into the “mission field”.
So, yes, if you have a passion for Politics, go for it.
I’m that nut that believes that all passions are God given. They are put there by God. The question is how do we honor God in those passions.
Good word bro.
Moe,
Probably much like yourself, my “mission field” is right outside my front door. True, not as glamorous and weighty as going to some far-flung remote location, but…it’s where I am, and affecting where I am suits me nicely.
I have always believed that God wants to give us the desires of our heart. I think a lot of people can misinterpret this also though and think that it means that he wants to give us what we want no matter what. In reality, if we are following Him closely, then the desires of our hearts will match His and therefore we will be given bigger and better dreams than we could imagine. My desire when I was younger was to be on stage. I cannot do that right now with a child, so God gave me local theater so that I can fulfill that desire while I work on being a mom and other things he has called me to.
I think the people that think God is a genie handing out wishes don’t understand what real relationship is all about. Those are the people that typically get the most disillusioned in their faith.
“If we are following Him closely, then the desires of our hearts will match His and therefore we will be given bigger and better dreams than we could imagine.” <~~ Yes, that.
“Do you believe the dreams in your heart line up with God’s plan for your life?”
I don’t know but I hope so. ‘Cause what’s in my heart is going to drive me to an early grave if God doesn’t want me to help those people.
You’re invincible until you have completed the work God has for your life.
I really liked how you pointed out that when we delight ourselves in Christ, He gives us godly desires, and then makes those desires come about. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve had that conversation with the college students in my ministry, who think that if it’s something they desire, it’s not God.
Good stuff man!
Glad you’re able to pour into those students man! If they can get it now, they can change the world.
“For some reason, many of us believe that making our life count for God means voluntarily living a life of “suffering for the ministry”. This is much different than embracing suffering for the Lord “when it comes”. ” <—- Great stuff!
Excellent post, Tony! When I realized that I was following someone else's dream and not God's…or even mine, I immediately took steps to switch directions. I finally had to ask myself, "what's scarier, leaving this place and finding out I was wrong and God wanted me there…or staying, feeling bogged down, and praying every day for God to get me out of there?"
Seriously, you are living the real deal. I hope more people get to read your story because it’s one thing to talk about it, and another thing to do it.
Dreams are God given but I also believe they need to be God driven as well.
The passion is not so much for the dream but to fulfill the Father’s heart for us.
Dreams are best fulfilled through relationship with Him.
Great post bro’…thanks!
Spoken like a true father with the heart of the Father. Love it! Thanks as always, Jay.
Thanks Tony I needed to be reminded today that I have dreams that need to be followed wholeheartedly. I’ve been feeling lately like what I’m doing isn’t what I’m called to do – it’s time to start making things happen that make my heart happy.
Make it happen cap’n. I totally believe in you, Cam. You were designed to make a mark on this world.
Good stuff, T. I have always interpreted Psalm 37:4 the way your friend does (no other way makes sense!)
I don’t think I’m ambitious enough for dreams to become idols! Not sure if that’s good or bad…:-)
Hmm, something to think about.
>>..we develop this mindset that carrying our cross means living a life of misery for Jesus and having to like it.
>>I believe that we give God the most glory when we are living lives that are full of joy and passion.
>>There is no spectator Christianity.
———————————————–
Great stuff, my brother! We need to stop living like we were baptized in lemon juice, be full of PASSION and desire (the ones He puts on our hearts!), and stop standing on the sidelines like a bunch of Eeyores from Winnie the Pooh. (Go back to the first point there.)
There are five callings in Christ: Ephesians 4:11. Why do we not look at these callings as verbs? We are called, each of us, to take our places in our Father’s Kingdom and not just so we can “be saved, hallelujah!”, but because He wants us to make a difference this side of His Heaven.
Tony, loved this post! Great Tuesday morning breakfast for my spirit!
“Baptized in lemon juice”. That is awesome. I’m definitely using that one. Thanks Donald!
Good stuff man. I think you made a key point when you stated that it’s He that gives us those desires. Is my dream His? I believe so. I know growing up it was to play pro baseball. That wasn’t His dream…that was mine.
I wanted to be a pro basketball player growing up. I know it wasn’t his dream because if it was, He would have made me taller!
Great thoughts Tony.
I know that there was a season when I thought that music must be an idol for me because I really LIKED doing it. I was passionate about it. And when some questioned my passion, it made me think that I loved music more than God and had to lay it aside. Which made me absolutely miserable. At some point I realized that God had given me this talent and desire and choosing to bury it was not honoring to Him.
Which isn’t to say that these passions and dreams can’t become idols, but to assume that joyfully following our dreams automatically makes them idolatrous is definitely a faulty thought.
You nailed it Alise. I think sometimes when we “lay down” our gifts, we do it from a place of false humility. God created us with these gifts and He wants us to use them. It’s all about lining up our hearts with His.
>>It’s all about lining up our hearts with His.
Tony, that’s what a son would say. My gosh but I am glad we have met! You and I flow in the same stream!
Good thoughts Tony. As I wrote about this last week – I see it as aligning our desires with God’s and when we do this we will see amazing things.
Yeah your post helped me formulate some of my thoughts for this.