Photo credit: Denim Dave
I have this nasty little habit I’ve formed. Many times I label people within the first few minutes of meeting them. I observe their words, body language and reactions. I might ask a few questions. Then bam, I put a label on them. Sometimes I do pretty well (at least on the surface). Which only makes me want to do it more often.
We place high value on labels. It helps to quickly define people. It fast forwards the hours, days and years it takes to get to know the intimate details of someone’s heart.
Our minds immediately tend to compartmentalize things. Labels help us to understand things instantly at the most basic level.
Labels define our career. Blue Collar. White Collar. Self-employed. Unemployed.
Labels define our politics. Republican. Democrat. Independent.
Labels define our value. Rich. Poor. Influential.
Labels define our relationships. Single. Married. Divorced. Widowed.
Labels define our faith. Evangelical. Progressive. Reformed. Emerging.
We label others. We labels ourselves. But if we are really honest, none of us really fit into any of the labels we make up. None of them are sufficient to completely capture the uniqueness and individuality of how we were created.
If I absolutely have to wear a label, I want it to come from someone that knows me best. I want it to come from someone with the authority to make a claim on my life.
“So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.” Galatians 4:7
These labels define me. Son. Heir. Loved. Forgiven.
Those are the labels that I do not want to remove.
What labels have you put on yourself in the past? What labels do you use today?
Great post Tony. Thanks. Reminding me again to remember Who I Am in Christ.
Sundi Jo recently posted..Processing Through Denial
It’s one of those reminders I need every day. Thanks for reading, Sundi!
I definitely feel you on this Tony. From what I’ve heard over several years of interaction on self observation, most people describe me off the bat as a person who thinks he better than everyone else. In basic terms people say, “I think I’m the sh*t” That’s not always true, sometimes it’s obviously true, but not always. The truth is, I’m a very complicated and deep person who’s constantly struggling with his perception. And it’s kind of unfair that I walk into a room and immediately people are put off without me actually saying anything.
It’s as if I was a monster.
I think there is a fine line between confidence and conceit. Many people are intimidated are a confident person and immediately label them as conceited. It’s definitely not always the case. “Conceited” is another label that people like to use without having to spend the time to get to know someone.
Tony, thank God that He allowed us to receive such awesome labels, even tough we don’t deserve them… What a great God!
BTW, there’s one label that I’m been trying to get rid off and I just can’t: BUSY…
I know what you mean! I feel like I’m ALWAYS running around doing something. Sometimes I just have to pull back and get perspective on what I’m doing just to remember who I am.
Glad you stopped by, Cris. I hope you’re doing well!
a son, that is HUGE. So glad I can be that person in Christ, His son!!
Thanks man.
Sonship is a game changer! And your avi looks fine for me.
Thankful to be labeled like that!
Me too man, definitely.
This is very convicting Tony. I have that nasty little habit too. Working on it, tho. I have now decided to remove your label.
Phew! *wipes forehead
I appreciate that man.
Labels…wow, this is good, my brutha. Past labels? Victim. No Good. Worthless. Not Lovable. Yada Yada Yada….
Labels today: Saved. Free. Leader. Writer. Encourager. Father. Husband. Yeah…those sound good.
Those sound fantastic dude. I love it!
Labels I have for myself: bossy, opinionated, self-sufficient, stubborn, confrontational, insecure,…um, do you really want me to continue, because one of them is talkative.
Last week I had an experience where I realized that the label I have for myself is not actually who I am anymore. God has changed me and I was not recognizing the change. It was like looking in the mirror to discover 20 years had gone by without me noticing a change. Sometimes I get so caught up in who I was that I forget to see who I am.
It’s way too easy. Half the time I don’t realize I’m doing it. For myself or others. Call me crazy but I do the whole Stuart Smalley “daily affirmation”. I call myself a son, an heir, speak my value and my worth out loud to myself. I tell myself who I am because of Christ. It helps. If I can do that to help me remember who I am and who I’m NOT, I’ll do it!
I used to label people all the time. It was part and parcel of my career in radio…you had to size someone up right away to know how to interact with them. Not to be prideful but I was usually on the mark about 95% of the time when I left that biz. But what ate at me was the other 5%. I loathed reading someone wrong because I hated when people read me wrong. Took a lot of time and prayer to work on this.
Yeah, I know what you mean. I think reading people to determine how you interact is actually good. It definitely helps me put people at ease when I first get to know them.
I think it’s when we try to give people a label and never take the time to really understand them is when we do damage. People can even start to act a certain way because they think it is expected of them. It’s happened to me for sure.
I so enjoyed this Tony! Thanks for sharing it. A few labels I have placed on myself in the past have been: addict, loser, dumb, ugly, (I’ll stop there) but a few labels that I do not want to take off are: son, brother, husband, father, friend. Great stuff! Keep it up!
Good stuff, Sean. I would tattoo those labels on myself if I wasn’t such a chicken!
SO GOOD!
Tony, how right you are, my friend. How quick I am to judge someone often based on appearances. I don’t mean to. I don’t set out to judge people, and I’m honestly one of the most open-minded people you’ll meet, but I still form assumptions of people often based on what’s there at the start. Even by personality. “Oh, that guy was kind of a jerk.” (Never mind he had probably had a horrible day.) I really want to challenge this in myself to not assume anything about anyone, as I am often dead wrong anyway.
It’s such a knee jerk reaction and I’m really learning to fix my thinking. Too many times we attach labels and pass judgement and call it “discernment”. There’s definitely a fine line in that.
Tony,
“Too many times we attach labels and pass judgment and call it “discernment”. There’s definitely a fine line in that.”
True, true, but it is that fear of crossing that fine line that causes people to neglect discernment at all. Case in point: The Emergent Church.
For the sake of being 100% seeker-sensitive, too many Christians have poo-pooed on the Holy Spirit giving us discernment and the ability to pronounce sound judgments on false Gospels and teachings. For these people, to do so, to stand firm and draw lines in the sand, equates to them being anti-diversity and all-loving. Love and discernment are not opposites; they are compatriots.
My two cents.
It’s such a knee jerk reaction and I’m really learning to fix my thinking. Too many times we attach labels and pass judgement and call it “discernment”. There’s definitely a fine line in that.
Proof that I’ve been super busy all day – I haven’t read this until now.
I despise labels! I came to the realization a long time ago that the labels I was using to define myself were also my cynical defenses. When I labeled others I wasn’t seeing them as they truly were. Since then I’ve tried to live my life in such a way that I’m not easily labeled by anyone and refusing to acknowledge the labels of others. It’s a much more vulnerable life but it is definitely more enlightening!
The only label I have for you, Cam is awesome!
NO YOU!
Growing up the child of a white father and a Japanese mother, people asked me all the time, “What are you?” I know people were genuinely curious, but dang–no kid wants to be asked that. Especially when everyone else was either white, black or hispanic. (Where I grew up, anyway.)
Not a fan of labels. I like the Bart Simpson approach: “I’m katdish. Who the hell are you?”
At least you didn’t live in MS where there were only black and white people. The question I got was, “Whatchu is? You got that good hair.”
I haaaaate it when people label me, but I always always always label others. I think its actually my weird way of pscychoanalyzing so that I can make a proper diagnosis. I wonder what diagnosis I should give myself?
Labels I try to give myself: Made in Him, Washed by THE Water
Isn’t it funny how that works? It’s way too easy to do.
Great post Tony. Did you ever play that game as a kid (or adult, ha) where you sit in a public place and try to guess their occupation? Yeah, I do this all the time and grew up labeling people before I ever even spoke to them.
I’ve labeled myself too: failure, worthless, talentless, “just a sinner saved by grace” but through Christ, I’m so much more than any of those things.
I don’t know if I did it specifically with occupations but I definitely love to people watch. While I do that, I tend to make judgements. It’s a pretty sucky thing to do.
Nathan,
Because of my fondness for that game, (but a slightly different variation that centers around guessing if people are saved), my bride has banned me from ever going again to a Mall of any sort, or anyplace where people gather.
The joke is on her. I hate Malls and all that nonsense, so her banning me is a blessing! Ha!
Tony,
Galatians 4:7 says it all, really. This is the heartbeat of our Father, that we should be called as sons of His. Also, when you read about “adoption” in reference to how God adopts us as His sons, in the Greek the word has legal meaning, as well. So,….as sons of God our father, we have legal right to affect The World around us, in Jesus’ Name.
Man, I love this stuff!
I am digging the latest posts you are putting out, Tony. I almost like you as much as I like Moe.
LOL!
“We have legal right to affect the world around us”
We bring heaven to earth. That’s good stuff right there.
In the past—loser. Now–loved. It feels good.
I like that. Defined by how you are loved. Good stuff.
There are so many labels…perhaps it would be a good exercise to actually draw them all out in order to shine the Light into each and every one of them…cuz there are a lot!
For now, I’ll claim, Beautiful. Captivating. Daughter of the King!
I LOVE all 3 of those, Nikki!
Small, unworthy, timid. No more.
Confident, loved, forgiven and best dad ever.
Oh wait, that last one is from my children, I think.
I hope.
I’m pretty sure your kids are on board with that one.
In the past, I have labeled myself by what I did – my jobs, leadership positions in a church/ministry, even certain relationships like mentor/coach. But then I lost my job, stepped down from my church and handed off the mentoring part of my ministry to someone else. God has been taking me through a season of relabeling – getting my labels off what I do and onto who I am in Him.
I know exactly what you mean. What I “do” or my “gifts” were my self-definition for a long time. When I found myself in a place where I wasn’t doing either, I had a bit of an identity crisis.
This is so true. We labels ourselves and we label others and what we fail to pay attention to (myself so much included) is that there are a lot of things under the surface that might be making that person act, react, do the things they are. It’s never as simple as we make it out to be.
I don’t even want to tell you my labels for myself right now! LOL, they aren’t all bad, but they aren’t all good either.
There are a lot of labels that aren’t necessarily bad or good. I just think that they are insufficient and tend to simplify the complexity of our makeup.
I have often labeled myself by what I do (job, position in church, marital status, etc..). But yes, I’m not those things. I’m a son, I’m an heir, I am forgiven, I am re-born, I am many things in the person of Jesus Christ. The label of Christ gives anyone a worth that no position or status ever can. It gives value!
How enriched we are to be called sons of God, Moe!
He has called us worthy enough to send His Son to die for us. Dude…that will bring anyone to their knees in worship.
Good words bro. I’ll take the label Christ gives me any day.
I’ve labeled myself as fat, lazy, liar, cheat, and loser. today, I just use Dr.Mo. I am who I am!
I wonder if I start going by Dr. Tone if that would catch on. I’ve always wanted a cool title. Which is not a label. Much different.
lol, just a warning, everyone will ask you if you’re really a doctor. it helps if you can say ‘yes.’
In the past I have labeled myself this way: Perfect, Sinless, Godly.
Then I realized that I was being a hypocrite and was putting on a “I’m so holy” show because I was just hiding my sins from everyone, and now I label myself this way: Saved by grace, Loved by grace, a work in progress.
Good stuff, John.
Tony, you hit the nail on the head with this post. AWESOME.
My identity is not defined by any worldly perspective or label, but rather what God says. I need that reminder from time to time, because like “fake” and “failure” creep in from time to time.
It’s so easy to fall back on labels. I’m doing my best to avoid labeling myself or others.
Past: Sinner, Lazy, Lost
Now: Saved, Redeemed, Determined, Motivated, Loving, Sharing
Great stuff Tony.
I’ve definitely labeled myself “sinner”. As humble as it sounds, I think it’s crap when we say “I’m just a sinner saved by grace.” I WAS a sinner. Now I’m a son. I WAS lost. Now I’m found.
I love your “now” list!
I used to use “loser” and “failure”
I am what God has made me for and called me to be, his child, his heir, his own.
Both garbage labels. I’m also going with what he calls you.
Loving that “Designer” label brother!
Ha! Good one, Jay!
Love the labels that define you. I would have to use the same. I have labeled myself by what I have done for a living, relationships, and most of what you listed.
This is the second post along this line I have read this morning – I think the Spirit is trying to teach me something. Good Post Tony.
I’ve definitely labeled myself by what I do for a living or even my gifts. None of that stuff is sufficient.