I am selfish. No matter how many selfless acts I perform, at the core of who I am is a selfish person. This can be deceptive because on the suface, it can appear that I am very selfless and giving.
I recently wrote this note and put it next to my computer. Every morning when I wake up, I want to see this. I want to be reminded that the only way to fully live in Christ is to be dead to myself.
In less than 7 weeks I will be a married man. The true test of dying to myself is how I interact with my wife. In marriage, there’s no hiding from my selfish ways. I can’t put on a humble act for awhile and then come home and be a different person. I have to die daily…all day.
I’m confident that there will be days that I don’t measure up. I know I can’t be a great husband in my own strength. I’ll run out of gas pretty quickly. But if I die to my selfish ways every day and live in the the power of Christ, He can teach me how it’s done.
Will a post-it note give me the strength to die to myself daily? Probably not. But if I’m reminded to look to Christ every morning, then that’s a good start.
What would you write on your post-it note?
Why it seems to be a constant struggle to pay the bills. Oh, I could also just write “smile” because I’m not a morning person. Mostly because I was trying to be cool.
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If you’re not a morning person, maybe getting a coffee mug with the word “Smile” on it will help. You get the jolt and the reminder at the same time!
I love that passage. You belong to Jesus. I plan to keep the note there until I live it out every single day. So even if I wrote myself a post-it note, it’s very possible I wouldn’t be able to read it anyway.
Even when I read it, I still tend to forget it. It’s one of those things I just need to have written on my heart. I guess the post-it is my attempt to get one step closer to that.
Thanks for stopping by, Roxie.
Great post! This is my first visit to your blog and I love it!
God has been showing me that I need to stop trying harder to die to self. It’s not about me trying harder, because what that really means is I am in His way. It’s about surrendering more. I love the image of free falling into His arms, completely letting go of my own strength. Easier said than done, I know…
Congratulations on your coming wedding! Have you read the Five Love Languages?
Thanks for coming by, Heather!
I have read the 5 Love Languages. It was one of the most illuminating books I’ve read on relationships.
It’s a toss-up for me between “love others” and “you are NOT God”. Because I struggle with seeing other people through God’s eyes and because I want to plan everything and know everything that God has planned. Oh, I could also just write “smile” because I’m not a morning person.
jenn recently posted..Love
Haha! I hear you. I’m actually a morning person. Not one of those chipper “rise & shine” type of morning people. I just like to get up early and I’m most effective in the morning rather than the evening.
A post it note? Possibly, but you will have greater success with your group of trusted married couples that (I hope) y’all are going to be a part of.
My post-it note says: You Matter. 1 Timothy 4:12
It’s where everybody sees it as they walk by, just before going to school/etc.
Ben recently posted..Community
I agree Ben. I have a lot of friends that are couples but I haven’t had much of a chance to get very close to them while I was single. I’m looking forward to developing those relationships as a couple.
I love that verse and especially that you have it up since you teach the middle schoolers.
Tony “Die to self” has been a mantra of mine for a very long time. It is the only way that you can have a relationship with your spouse, children, co-workers, and fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. We can’t let our egos and pride get in the way. The Bible says we have to think of others before ourselves. It’s not about our agendas, or our wants, but think of others needs firsts. It doesn’t mean we neglect our needs, but it does mean we should look to serve others before we serve ourselves. God Bless.
Juan Cruz Jr recently posted..It’s like teaching to ride a bike, or a car
Thanks Juan, that’s so good. All things I know in my mind, I just need to translate them to action on a daily basis.
Tony, another great post. I’m borrowing your idea and writing a note to myself too.
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Thanks Cris, I hope it helps!
Yes, I needed to read this today!
I’m married and it’s a great example, one that I’ve never thought of.
I’m gonna make me a sticky note with that on it also.
Duane Scott recently posted..when we choose to kill
I know a lot of people do the sticky note thing but this is my first time trying it.
Dude, dealing with selfishness was one of the first (and longest) lessons I’ve learned as a married man and father. I can’t afford to be selfish.
My post it note would say “Do your chores frequently and w/ a smile.”
ThatGuyKC recently posted..3 Ways to Become a Wise Guy
That’s a good one KC. I bet my mom would echo your sentiments!
Tony, I have to say ‘wow’ to your excellent handwriting. Mine looks terrible. So even if I wrote myself a post-it note, it’s very possible I wouldn’t be able to read it anyway. Could you write mine for me?
I think mine would say, “make today count” and I can think of dozens of applications almost instantly. Thanks man–good exercise.
Jason Stasyszen recently posted..You Can’t Have It Both Ways! Can You?
You have doctor’s handwriting, huh? I actually completely ripped off my best friend’s handwriting from 7th grade. I loved it and copied it for years until I was able to create my own version of it.
I like your post-it note. Now go do it!
mine would be “wake up”
and probably something like “learning to love someone is different than learning to live with them” – the 2nd being much harder
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I know what you mean. I already found out that Katie puts the toilet paper roll on the wrong way (everyone knows you pull from the top and not the bottom).
Maybe I can put your post-it right above the TP.
“All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial” (1 Cor 10:23)
Attached to my refrigerator.
)
Underlying that message, though is…Do I love and rely on food more that I love and rely on God?
This can be translated to so many other things, like…busyness, substance, technology, etc. Is the thing that drives me to it too big for God to handle? This thing…He permits it as a free will choice…but does it bring me closer to Him? Or drive a wedge between?
Nikki recently posted..Prayer in the Middle
Whoa, all very important questions to ask. Though if I asked myself all those things every day, I might get a little defensive and tell myself to shut up!
Honestly, I would probably write the exact same thing (and may just steal your idea and actually write it down and post it next to my alarm clock), but for a slightly different reason.
I need to be reminded that this life isn’t really mine. It’s His. I struggle sometimes with His timing – why I’m 31 and still single. Why I’ve worked a crappy PT job for 2 years and haven’t been able to find a decent job I’m more than qualified for. Why it seems to be a constant struggle to pay the bills. Left to myself, this would not have been my life. But that’s the point – it’s not mine. It’s His. And I need that reminder every day.
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Move to south Florida and we’ll start a business together! I have many ideas!
Then you could come to an awesome church. Not only is Holy Spirit thick in our community and Jesus is at the helm…but there are also TONS of beautiful single ladies!
Just a thought.
I have done the post it note thing for years. I many times put verses but sometimes other reminders and right now for me it is – He must increase and I must decrease.
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Him +
Me -
I would write it like that. Mostly because I was trying to be cool.
“Take a shower.”
You see, I usually wake up and start working on a project and forget to shower.
(Great post, Tony.)
Jason recently posted..Day 235: Daddy, do you want us here?
I think if I worked from home, I’d tend to “forget” to take a shower more often than not.
There’s your super cool handwriting again!
Did you ever watch the Grey’s Anatomy episode where Meredith and McDreamy got married on a post-it note? Probably not, but this reminded me of that.
When I first got married, I had this sudden realization that I had never understood the true meaning of forgiveness. Day in day out you have to forgive your spouse even the simplest of offenses, otherwise they tend to build up. And, even though I don’t consider myself one to “count offensese”-they still come up! So, my post-it note should say “Forgive Daily”, right under “Ask for Forgiveness Daily”.
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I did watch Grey’s for awhile but I don’t remember that. Then again, I have a terrible memory. Or at least a VERY selective one.
I have a feeling I’m going to be using your post-it it note on forgiveness very soon and very often.
I appreciate you, Keri. You always share great wisdom here.
I no Longer Live, HE LIVES IN ME.
This would remind me not to seek my own agenda for the day but HIS! and if i do seek out my own agenda…it will because the end result will be gloryfing HIM!
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That’s the perfect 1-2 punch to go with mine. Good word, Arny.
My post-it would say:
Be excited only about his glory and nothing else.
Congrats on soon being a married man!
Loren Pinilis recently posted..Why You Should Use a Ubiquitous Capture Device
Good word. If we were REALLY excited about His glory, everything else would pale in comparison anyways. Thanks Loren!
Congrats on the approaching wedding!
My post it note would remind me to pray for God’s will to happen everyday, and for me to not get in the way.
Quinton recently posted..Denver Mission 2011
“Get into His will and get out of the way”
I like it! Thanks Quinton.
I like that way you phrase it!
Quinton recently posted..Denver Mission 2011
“Make the most of EVERY opportunity!”
Congrats on the upcoming wedding.
Jon Stolpe recently posted..Weeding Reminder
Thanks Jon. Great post-it!
Great reminder. Be warned, soon enough you’ll need something to clean you ass with and the only thing available is that post it note. You’ll use it, clean it and then put it back and everytime you see it now, it will be reminded that dying daily is like being crapped on, but you always feel so much better after it… I think.
Moe recently posted..Living In The Land of Jumpers
Oh, and my post it note would say, “Remember the milk” (milk being spiritual nutrients).
Moe recently posted..Living In The Land of Jumpers
The milk is a lie, Moe. A LIE! They give me no eagle powers! The give me no nutrients!
I’ve been on a Nacho Libre kick lately.
Now I can’t get that visual out of my head – thanks, thanks a lot.
Andrea York (@andreayorkmuse) recently posted..Can You Find God in the Movies?
LOL. I apologize…. I think.
Moe recently posted..Living In The Land of Jumpers
You are out of control, Moe Moe. We’re Hispanic bro, our butts are too big for a post-it note.
I can say so much, but I rather not. LOL.
Moe recently posted..Living In The Land of Jumpers
Only thing about sticky notes is that they get unsticky…kind of like our resolve to die to self…Thank God His mercies are new every morning.
kd sullivan recently posted..Blogging Neighborhood Bible Study – The Importance of Words – Genesis 1:1-25
Wow, preach it KD! I’m thankful for His mercies, indeed!
Tony, my friend,
I’m learning so much from you, bro!
I’ve had a piece of paper taped to the monitor of my computer for a few years now bearing some words I heard from a Louie Giglio sermon once….
“I AM NOT, BUT I KNOW I AM…”
I’m praying for you and Katie today…I know you guys have an awesome future ahead!
Ooh, I like that.
Thanks for the prayers, bro. They are appreciated big time!
I’d write, “Hold on for the Blessing” a la Genesis 32 when Jacob wrestled the angel and didn’t let go until he got a blessing.
When things get tough, I don’t want to let go but want to hold on until I see the reward/blessing.
Andrea York (@andreayorkmuse) recently posted..Can You Find God in the Movies?
Knowing me, I’d probably write something like “Strengthen your kung-fu grip”. But that’s just because I’m silly.
Keep holding on, friend!
I’ve had a note with the verses from Phil 4: 11-13 taped to my bathroom mirror for 8 years. I plan to keep the note there until I live it out every single day.
I love that passage. Such a great daily reminder, Eileen.
Great reminder today!
Brandon recently posted..Cleaning Out Your RSS Reader
Thanks Brandon. Any thoughts for your own post-it?
Note to self: Your work is not who you are. You belong to Jesus.
David Santistevan recently posted..What Bon Iver Taught Me About Creating Great Art
Come on, dude! That’s good. I could probably write another one that says “You are a human being, not a human doing.”
“Be changed. Make a Difference.” Good point today Tony.
bill (cycleguy) recently posted..Trivial
I love it, Bill. You definitely make a difference.
I’d put something like this on my post-it note: “Remember it’s not about you.”
I can relate about the selfishness. I make things about me all the time– in every area of my life. That is certainly an area I need to surrender to Him daily.
dustin recently posted..The Life of George Mueller
Good words, man. It’s something that I need to remember every day. Sometimes I’ll do really well for awhile and next thing you know, it’s all about me again. I forget it’s a daily death.
I have “die daily” written on my in my office right now. To be honest, if I ever get another tat that is what I would get on my wrist.
Michael recently posted..Safe
That would be a stout tat, my friend.