A Rose By Any Other Name…

If you haven’t heard, I am getting married this weekend! That said, I thought the perfect way to leave you all before the big day is with a guest post from my wife-to-be. When she sent this to me, I was blown away. I hope you love it as much as I do.
McNemar Crest

The McNemar Crest

On October 8th, 2011, I will no longer be Katie McNemar.

I will take vows before God and will from that moment on be Katie Alicea.

When I look in the mirror, I see Katie McNemar. I’ve been Katie McNemar all my life. I introduce myself as Katie McNemar. I sign my checks (the two times a year I actually still write checks) as Katie McNemar. All the bad things I’ve done, and all the good things I’ve done have all been under this name. The last name of McNemar is very special to me.

To give up my last name is something I take very seriously. This is so much more than a name change. I am changing my identity.

The Katie I am now will cease to exist the day I say my vows to Tony. This change won’t be as abrupt as it sounds. God has been walking me towards this moment all my life. He is the Father walking me down the aisle to my husband. This walk has been thirty years in the making, which means He and I have had lots of time to prepare for this moment. During this journey down the aisle I have changed so many times that I’ve lost track, but the moment say my vows to Tony that will be a change I’ve never experienced before. At that moment something very mysterious and beautiful will happen. Tony and I will no longer be two totally separate individuals. We will become one person. Our very souls will be knit together.

Some people may think that it’s a weak person that would give up their life and their name in order to marry another imperfect mortal. But I tell you, it takes a stronger person to willingly, selflessly die to themselves every day just for the chance to walk beside one of God’s precious, beautiful children. Just for the chance to make them smile every day. Just for the chance to see them through God’s eyes. Just for the chance to hold them up when they are weak. Just for the chance to wake up next to the person that knows you better than you know yourself. Just for the chance to hold them as their heart breaks. Just for the chance to see their dreams come true. Just for the chance to kiss and hold them at the end of a hard day. Just for the chance to see all that you have sacrificed given back to you ten fold by a God that has more thoughts for you than the sands on the beaches. I am willing to sacrifice everything to marry Tony. I consider it a privilege. Not because Tony’s perfect, but because God’s will is.

It’s easier to let go of a name when you know that it’s not your name that defines who you are. No matter what name I go by, I will forever be a child of the God that loves me so much that He gave up His life to save me. A rose by any other name, would most definitely smell as sweet.

Love,

 

The Future Mrs. Alicea

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love.” – Albus Dumbledore

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Katie AliceaKatie is a 30-year-old rambler, writer, giggler, and Jesus chaser. Born and raised in the rolling hills of West Virginia, she is a country girl at heart. She will be married to the love of her life, Tony Alicea, and will live happily-ever-after in Southern Florida. She blogs at The Dailies.

Comments

  1. Jocelyn Saunders says:

    This is awesome, Katie! you have been on and off in my heart all weekend… been praying since last night that you would have a day that would be memorable and honoring to both of you and mostly to the God that you both love.
    Jocelyn Saunders recently posted..Acne Tips

  2. How exciting and wonderful! May God’s love radiate in and through your marriage.I am proud to stand by a man as amazing as you. Congratulations to you both!
    angie recently posted..Arizona Gets Inside Information on the 12 Myths of Bankruptcy – Myths 7-9

  3. i’m trying to get caught up now on posts i’ve missed in recent…well, months, to be honest…and i’m so glad i got to read this post, katie.

    i recently tweeted, “dear mr. mary kathryn, i hope you don’t mind if i keep my name. i’m sort of attached to it. love, me” for all the reasons you just named, i will reconsider.

    i’m really happy for you both! i think you’re exactly perfect for each other (the little i know of either of you). :)

    congratulations, mrs. alicea! :)

    xo
    mary kathryn tyson recently posted..beyond the veil.

    • Thank you so much, Mary Kathryn. I totally know what you mean. Before I met Tony I would break into a sweat just thinking of no longer being Katie McNemar. It’s a HUGE deal. I think the whole issue wasn’t just about changing my name. The whole issue was that no one had handled my heart in such a way that I would ever be able to trust them enough to want to marry them, not to mention take their name and call them the leader of my household. Tony was and is different. It’s his love, the love of Christ, that gives me confidence in him. I am proud to take his name because the whole time he was the only one I should have ever been able to imagine it with anyway. :)

      xoxo to you!!
      Katie M recently posted..A Rose By Any Other Name…

  4. Jonathan B says:

    I’m behind on responding to this, so I missed getting to wish you well before the wedding, but congratulations to you both!

  5. Congratulations to both of you! I knew the wedding was soon, but I didn’t realize it was this soon. I guess I should keep up with my blog reading a little bit better.
    jenn recently posted..Survival

  6. Congratulations to you both! How exciting and wonderful! May God’s love radiate in and through your marriage.
    Mindy recently posted..Our one-on-one chat

  7. So excited for y’all.. you have been on and off in my heart all weekend… been praying since last night that you would have a day that would be memorable and honoring to both of you and mostly to the God that you both love. So excited to see the pix… hugs to you both!
    Jenny recently posted..Ten by Ten in Five Clicks | Photo Challenge by Kent Weakley

  8. Katie and Tony, congratulations and happiest of days!
    Sandy Sandmeyer recently posted..Anticipation

  9. This is so cool. Best wishes to both of you. Soak it in and enjoy every single moment. Congrats!
    dustin recently posted..When Bloggers Unite

  10. This is so wonderful. Congratulations to you both. You’re getting married on my Dad’s birthday. He and my mom are celebrating 39 years of marriage to day. If I believed in omens, I would say that this is a good one. But since I don’t believe in omens…nevermind.
    seekingpastor recently posted..Prayer and the Death of Steve Jobs

  11. Jeremy Walker says:

    I’m so very excited for you guys…your testimonies give me so much hope and encouragement about the future.

    Katie, thanks for supporting and allowing Tony the time to minister to people, like me, who have been so blessed by what God has said through him. I would not be where I am today without Tony’s love, friendship, honesty, and commitment to me and my situation. I am forever grateful and can’t wait to meet you guys!

    But for now, I wish you guys an awesome wedding day and all the blessings God can lavish you with as you move forward together in your marriage. You both deserve this!

    Jeremy

    • Thank you so much, Jeremy. Tony is an amazing man and I am so happy that you both have each other. You have helped him just as much as he has helped you. I appreciate your reaching out to him when it would have seemed easier to try and carry things alone. We can’t wait to meet you too! :)
      Katie M recently posted..A Rose By Any Other Name…

  12. This is awesome, Katie! Love what God is doing in you and Tony and how He brought you together. Congrats to you guys and all the blessings of Jehovah Shalom be yours as you take this step of faith and obedience. Excited for you both.
    Jason Stasyszen recently posted..Dance with Who Brought You

  13. Congrats you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Arny recently posted..The Analogy of the Ring #1: Gollum’s Addiction

  14. What a great reminder of what marriage is really about. Congrats on the wedding!
    Loren Pinilis recently posted..Two Contexts That Can Save You a Lot of Time

  15. *sniff* Congrats, you guys! Mwah!

  16. the future Mrs. Alicia, congrats!

    A rose by any other name, would most definitely smell as sweet… I really liked that one!

    savor the moment and the very best to you both, marriage is a beautiful and lovely thing!!
    chris vonada recently posted..Geology LITE: The Fine Art Of Science

  17. Congratulations… nothing wrong in changing your name to link with his….
    Savy recently posted..The Legacy

  18. So happy for you guys!
    HopefulLeigh recently posted..Not Alone (my name in print!)

  19. Yes yes yes.

    :)
    Mandie recently posted..Friday Field Notes: Cow Meat

  20. Congratulations! It’s very special to find that special someone in your life! Hold each other tight, and don’t let go (and please keep writing!)

  21. love this. I really do. I wouldn’t make the same decision again (to change my name), but I can read the love in this that would lead you to that decision.
    kristinherdy recently posted..Kristin Herdy’s Quest for the Holy Landfill

    • We just LOVE YOU!!! :) Thank you, Kristin. We MISS YOU!!!

      It’s a risk to change your name, for sure. It’s not been easy for me. Taking his name is something I feel is important for me to do for several reasons…one of them being that it’s a beautiful name. :) Another reason is that I am extremely independent. I have been since I was a kid. I like to do things my own way and in my own strength. I not a big fan of authority, including God’s sometimes. It’s a trust thing. Letting Tony be the leader of our family is something that I’ve had to work on. It is a decision, not just something that happens when you say your vows. Just like I allow God authority in my life, I allow Tony and anyone else I deem worthy, authority in my life. I have to decide again and again to allow Tony to lead me. That is why it is important for me to take his name. I am submitting to his leadership. The thought of submitting in any way to anyone used to make me feel like I was wearing a wool leotard. But if I ever want to feel protected, safe, and free, and more than that….to grow…I have to learn to be lead. By God, by my husband, and by people that God put’s in my life to lead and refine me. I am stubborn. I struggle with trust. I want to lead. I want to control. Changing my name is one of my biggest sacrifices. Not just because of the name change, but because of what it means to me. My willingness to take Tony’s last name says to Tony that I trust him to lead me. My trust and willingness to follow, allows Tony to be a good leader.
      Katie M recently posted..A Rose By Any Other Name…

  22. Kim Quinn says:

    First of all congratulations to both of you. Second thank you, thank you for transporting me back to that day a little over 20 years ago when I married God’s great gift to me, Paul Quinn. I remember feeling so many overwhelming emotions, joy, love, excitment, and fear. I had very little clue what this “oneness” was all about, I’m not even sure I could explane it today. I only know that it is a miracle only God could do. Yes I am still Kim, we are different individuals Paul and I, but I marvel how much better I am because of him. I marvel how one person could know me so well and I can know him so well. I marvel at this bond that so captures my heart, from joy when he is joyful, to deep pain when he hurts, and all the emotions and thoughts between.

    So my wish for you and Tony is many, many years of this miracle of God, may you both see Him clearly through each other, forever!
    May God’s grace surround you both as you walk in the wonder of marriage and blessed oneness.

    For His glory and in His grace

    • I love this, Kim!! Thank you so much for sharing. I love hearing positive things about marriage. I don’t know if people feel like they have to make fun of marriage or what, but so many people just crack jokes about their spouse and how awful it is to be married. Tony and I decided that we aren’t going to do that. Even if it is only just joking, we don’t want to continue this trend of making fun of marriage. What we speak has an impact…in the natural and in the spiritual. We want to speak positive things over each other and over marriage. Thank you again for your support and prayers! :)
      Katie M recently posted..A Rose By Any Other Name…

      • Kim Quinn says:

        I promised Paul that I would never speak ill or unkindly of him to others. The only exception would be seeking pastoral help. I promised to guard his honor in what I speak about him and in how I speak to him. When there is conflict and there will be, I try to speak truthfully but with love.

        You will both do well in marriage, I see two people seeking Gods heart in their own lives and in their marriage. I believe God is honored by the heart of devotion I see in you.

        In His Grace, and in His love, your sister in Christ

        Kim Q

  23. Wow! This is so beautifully written! I’m excited for you both! Congratulations! :)
    kathyfannon recently posted..Homemade Healthy Vegetable Dip

  24. Congrats!

    Loved these lines you wrote: “I am willing to sacrifice everything to marry Tony. I consider it a privilege. Not because Tony’s perfect, but because God’s will is.”

    That should be the basis for everything we do. It’s not because I’m perfect, or you’re perfect, but because God’s will is perfect.
    Ryan Tate recently posted..6 Marriage Tips for Challenging Times

    • Thank you, Ryan! People that hide their flaws and try to appear “perfect” freak me out. I don’t feel as comfortable being real with people that can’t be real with themselves or me for that matter. I don’t look for perfection when I invite someone into my life. I’m not afraid of imperfection. I’m afraid of perfectionism. :)
      Katie M recently posted..A Rose By Any Other Name…

  25. Wonderful take on marriage, God, and who you are!

    Congratulations to you both – it has been a joy to read about this whole process along the way. It will be as much of a joy to read about the life you two will have as husband and wife. Enjoy the day – take mental pictures – it will be a blur otherwise.
    Jim F recently posted..Building Below the Waterline…A Spiritual Center?

    • Thank you, Jim! I am trying my best to remember each moment of this week leading up to our big day. I want to remember all that I can. Tony and I are so excited to be able to share our love with our readers. When we talk about how we met and how God has brought us together it is so overwhelming that we just sit staring at each other, smiling like idiots. :) We know the truth of God’s love, power, grace, and reach and we want to share it.
      Katie M recently posted..A Rose By Any Other Name…

  26. Katie, this is a beautiful ode to the gift of marriage! I have been married for ten years to my best friend. Today, you reminded me to cherish him like the gift from God he is. The truth and wisdom in your post gave me chills and put a smile on my face!

    I love what you said about God’s will being perfect. Always remember that through all the ups and downs of married life, as it will take you through all of it!

    Congratulations to two wonderful children of God! I will pray for you on your special day!
    Heather Murdock recently posted..A Heart for the Underdog

    • Thank you, Heather! Tony and I coming into this marriage with our blinders off. We realize that marriage isn’t easy. It requires effort, sacrifice, and lots of selflessness. We aren’t looking for an easy life where we can kick back and cruise on auto-pilot. We want an adventure. We want to make the sacrifices and do the hard work it takes to show that marriages can last forever. Ultimately, we want to show God’s glory in all that we do and all that we are….separately and together.
      Katie M recently posted..A Rose By Any Other Name…

  27. WOW, Katie, you blew me away with this post. Really, really beautiful!
    I wish that you and Tony have a wonderful wedding and a blessed marriage. May you both be guided by God as you walk together this new road ahead. And may He use you both in ministry to reach and bless lots of people as well.
    Many blessings!
    Cris Ferreira recently posted..Time for a change

  28. Words can’t describe how happy I am for the two of you. Congratulations again.

  29. So sweet! I love it! Much congratulations to you both – I will be thinking about you this Saturday :)
    Cindy Holman recently posted..Answer

  30. Congratulations Tony and Katie! I’m excited for you both!!
    Jason Vana recently posted..The Story Between the Stories

  31. Congratulations, Tony and Katie! Tony, you’re one of the first people I connected with online, and it’s been a privilege catching tidbits of what God is doing in you. Blessings to the both of you!
    Ernie recently posted..Life-Changing Worship Songs

  32. So excited for you two! Congratulations and God’s blessings on your marriage always!
    April recently posted..Equal Forces?

  33. Beautiful! “It’s easier to let go of a name when you know that it’s not your name that defines who you are.” So true. Congratulations to you both!
    Eileen recently posted..A Mighty Explosion Of Light

  34. I can’t wait to be your wife.

    I love you with all of my heart.

    I am proud to stand by a man as amazing as you.

    Let the adventure begin!
    Katie M recently posted..A Rose By Any Other Name…

    • YES!! An adventure it will be. If everything up to know is a preview of what’s to come, we’re going to be the happiest couple ever created in the history of people!

      I LOVE YOU!

  35. First love the take you put on this.

    And it’s no secret how excited I am for you guys. I am sad that I’m unable to make the trek to see you guys though this weekend, but we’ll arrange something in the near future for the four of us to connect.

    I can honestly say that though, I’ve never met Tony in person, he’s like a brother. So yeah, I get choked up thinking about Saturday!

  36. Congratulations, you two!

    I can’t think of a better way for you guys to celebrate my birthday.
    Ricky Anderson recently posted..How To Be a Celebrity Chef

  37. Katie:

    I have read about you through Tony’s blog before. Didn’t know you had a blog so went there today to read. Tony is getting himself an amazing woman. You have two amazing men. congratulations on the wedding and I pray that you both experience the true love God designed for a husband and wife for eternity. Oh yeah: good post here also. :)
    bill (cycleguy) recently posted..Journey

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