Today I tell the story of how I dealt with the obligation of daily devotions. I talk about how it made me feel like a terrible Christian and then how when I was consistent, it still wasn’t enough. I promise it’s not all Debbie Downer. It ends with hope…like all things beautiful.

Head over to Prodigal Magazine to read my latest article titled “When The Bible Isn’t Enough” and let me know what you think!

Now tell the truth, do you read the Bible everyday?

Image credit: soupstock / 123RF Stock Photo

I had just started going to church again following an extended hiatus in college. I no longer lived at home where my parents were diligent to go every Sunday. Plus, getting home at 4am after a night of clubbing wasn’t exactly the best way to prepare my heart for an early morning of worship.

I didn’t think much of the inordinate amount of focus on money at first. I was just glad to be back in church. I was like a sponge and began to soak up everything that was taught.

Unfortunately, I started feeling like my current financial situation was a direct result of the size of the “seed I was sowing”. Now let me say that I’ve never had an issue with giving to the church. But obviously while on my break, I wasn’t sending tithe checks anywhere.

Before long, I began to look around at all the nice suits, expensive watches and luxury cars in the parking lot. I started to feel like God wanted me to have these things. I thought the reason I didn’t have these things was because I still “owed” God for all that back tithe. It accrued interest on top of that!

Week after week I heard about how God wanted me to be healthy and prosperous and happy. I had never heard that before but I figured this was part of the Bible that I just never got around to reading.

But it at some point, it wasn’t feeling right. I started to ask questions and nobody seemed to have answers. I wondered why there were people that God didn’t heal. I asked why some in the church drive BMWs while some single moms could barely pay the rent. I wasn’t buying the fact that this was all connected to their giving.

The sermons sounded eerily similar to the American Dream (life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness) as opposed to talking about the actual cost of discipleship (pick up your cross and follow).

Not long after that, I left. It was a rough time for me because I was seeking to grow spiritually and I had to face some pretty deep disappointment. Thankfully it didn’t make me bitter, it just pushed me to seek out God’s heart on these issues.

In retrospect, I’m glad I experienced this because I had to make the decision to go from a follower to a disciple. I learned that this life is about something way bigger than me. And while I know that God loves me and does give me the desires of my heart, I also know that the culture of the Kingdom is nothing like the culture of this country.

Do you struggle with living both in the culture of the Kingdom and the culture of your country?

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I’m sharing My Hazardous Faith Story as part of a synchroblog connected with the release of Ed Cyzewski and Derek Cooper’s new book Hazardous: Committing to the Cost of Following Jesus. If you have a story, be sure to link up to it here.

The ugly duckling is one of the most well known tales of the past two centuries. It is a story of how a little “ugly” duck is mocked and teased because it looked different. The other ducklings, as well as other animals, ridiculed it because of its gray feathers although it would eventually find out that it was not that different after all. While this story is well known, I was reminded of another story when I came across a duck that was different from other ducks I’ve seen.

I usually start my weekends playing basketball early in the morning on Saturdays. As I walk out the door, I try to either eat a banana or a piece of fruit for a quick burst of energy.

This particular week I decided to switch it up and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead of the fruit. As I grabbed the bread I realized only 4 slices were left, including the end slices. I’m not sure about other people, but I have never been a fan of the slices on either end of a bread loaf. I always thought they were like book ends to keep the loaf in tact.

Instead of leaving the bread loaf ends in the bag and risk the wrath of my wife, I decided to feed them to the ducks in our area. I assumed that there would be several ducks around our house like normal so I grabbed the bread loaf ends and headed out the door.

Instead of seeing several ducks, I spotted only one that was bathing in a little puddle of water so I headed over to it. I started ripping off chunks of the bread loaf ends to feed it and that’s when I noticed something I didn’t expect.

As I was feeding the duck I noticed that it was moving awkwardly slow as it attempted to eat the chunks of bread I was feeding it. It was then that I saw that this duck only had one leg. It looked as if the other foot had been completely ripped off because all that was left was what resembled a stub.

Now, I’m not the type of guy that sponsors PETA events but I had compassion for this duck, which immediately reminded me of the Gospel. Before I describe what I mean by the Gospel, let me share two things that came to mind as I looked at this one-legged duck.

1. It needed help. I’m sure the duck had made it to the small little puddle by itself, but I can’t imagine what it took to get there. This might have been its only chance to wash itself off without being pushed aside by the other ducks, especially if there was food involved. Although it was by itself with the opportunity to enjoy all the bread, it still needed help getting to the chunks.

Just like this duck, mankind needs help. Don’t let the myriad of inventions and technological advances throughout the centuries fool you. As it relates to righteousness with God, we are unable to achieve it on our own or by our own efforts.

While the idea of pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps is viewed as the ideal and a trait all humans have, the story of the Bible suggests otherwise. Our attempt to “fix” things spiritually ultimately leads in futility. We need God in order to relate God.

2. I planned on feeding the duck before it knew it. While I may not have planned to feed this particular duck, it was my intention to feed a duck nonetheless. This duck had done nothing to merit the bread I was feeding it. It didn’t have a polished beak or glistening feathers that would have made it stand out to justify my decision to feed it.

What it received had come from my own initiative and purpose. It didn’t meet me halfway nor was it able to. I had made the choice to feed the duck before it had a chance to make a choice of its own. In the same way, the redemption accomplished by God in Jesus begins with initiative of God according to the good pleasure of His will. With all this in mind, I couldn’t help but thank God for reminding me of the Gospel as I fed this duck.

The Gospel (good news) is that Jesus Christ of Nazareth is the promised King and Messiah of Israel and Lord of the world. In love, He paid the penalty of our sins by dying in our place thereby satisfying the demands of God’s Law. His resurrection
from the dead confirmed that The Father accepted His sacrifice and it inaugurated a new age of creation with the sending of Holy Spirit as a guarantee.

By placing our faith in Him for salvation and righteousness before God by changing our ways, we have forgiveness of sins and by His resurrection we have the hope of eternal life in His Kingdom. All this is accomplished by the initiative of God because of His loving grace and we receive it as a gift. This news is for all mankind to hear regardless of ethnicity, gender, and social status and it is mankind’s only hope both in life and death.

I am thankful for the encounter I had with the duck because it reminded me of God’s love, mercy, and grace in Jesus. As you go through your day, look around because you may just see something that reminds you of God’s good news in Jesus!

Have you ever had something unexpected remind you of God?

Samuel is a native of New Jersey and currently resides in Fort Lauderdale, Florida with his wife Ariel. His interests include playing basketball, studying theology, and weekend naps. He lives by a simple code: Live, Love, Laugh…and eat. When inspired, he blogs at www.stonecall.com. 

The first time I read the Bible through, I was reading it like a manual. Especially when it came to the laws in the first five books. I started to feel overwhelmed about the number of thou shalt/thou shalt nots I was going to have to remember. I had spent most of my life parked in the New Testament so now I was having a hard time understanding how to reconcile the two.

I asked a lot of questions but I couldn’t always get a straight answer from anyone:

Do we still have to follow the Old Testament laws? 
Do we only have to follow the Ten Commandments?
Why do we still follow some but others don’t apply?
Is everything under grace now?

There’s a big difference in doing something because you have to and doing something because you want to. Obedience of the will is not the same as obedience of the heart. That’s why when I read Exodus this time around, something jumped out at me. Four times in chapter 35 it talks about having a willing heart to fulfill the commandments of God:

“whoever is of a willing heart…” v. 5
“everyone came whose heart was stirred and everyone whose spirit was willing” v. 21
“they came, both men and women, as many as had a willing heart” v. 22 
“all the men and women whose hearts were willing to bring material for all kinds of work which the LORD, by the hand of Moses, had commanded to be done” v. 29

The people in the Old Testament had no grid for holiness. The law came not to make people holy per se, but to show the holiness of God. By giving the people His law, they understood how much different and set apart their God was compared to others.

While the Canaanites were off boiling goats in the milk of their mothers as a sacrifice to their gods, the God of Israel differentiated Himself from these false idols. God’s law was the standard of holiness as compared to the pagan cultures of their time.

God never gave the law for the sake of managing our behavior. The Scriptures were never meant to be an instruction manual. God has always been after our heart. Even before we had the gift of the Holy Spirit, God was looking for those whose hearts were willing. He didn’t just want people with discipline to fulfill the law without understanding why.

I needed to ask why goats shouldn’t be boiled in their mother’s milk. When I understood the context, it helped me frame the scripture correctly. By asking a question, I was able to get to the heart of the issue.

Rather than one more mark on a checklist, God wants us to be known by us. He’s not afraid of our whys or our tough questions. He welcomes them because when we know His heart, we know His goodness. Only then can we move from obedience of the will to obedience of the heart.

What other weird scriptures have you come across?

It’s a valid question to ask yearly, monthly and even daily.

More than ever, I see how important the WHY is in every aspect of my life.

Why am I working here?
Why did I get married?
Why do I follow Christ?

Why ask why?

Because the minute I no longer have a reason for the why is the moment that I get stuck in the what.

What isn’t nearly as interesting as why.

What do you do for a living?
What do you guys do for fun?
What church do you go to?

The what can never sustain me long-term. The what is short-sighted.

What happens when my job is for a paycheck.
What happens when activities mask real issues in my marriage.
What happens when I’m more concerned with theology than relationships.

Before long I get tired of the what happening. Then I quit.

If I plan on doing something significant with my life, I have to believe in the why.
If I plan on making this marriage last, I have to believe in the why.
If I plan on walking out my faith, I have to believe in the why.

What is a good distraction.

What can I sell on my blog?
What can I do to get more subscribers?
What will happen if I blog inconsistently for a few weeks?

Too much focus on the what distracts me from the why.

I write to encourage.
I write to learn.
I write to glorify God.
I write to connect.
I write to express myself.

If I’m no longer doing it for the why…

WHAT is the point.

Do you ever get stuck in the what?

I spun around as he strolled up to my desk. He covered the talking end of his cell phone and whispered:

“My condolences” 

He winked at my as he smiled and shook my hand. Then he walked away.

He wasn’t the only one. As others in the building offered their sentiments on my impending marriage, many of them were cast in a negative or sarcastic light. Most of the time I didn’t even know what to say.

My last day of work before the wedding I was in the restroom, getting chatted up by another manager. Not only did he breach proper male bathroom etiquette, but his last words before walking out stunned me:

“There’s still time to get out.”

No smile here. He was dead serious.

Not a month earlier, I was eating a piece of cake celebrating his wedding.

Turning It Around

There are few decisions in my life that I have been absolutely sure about. I can’t even say that I was absolutely sure about accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior when I was 9 years old. But I can say that I was absolutely sure about marrying Katie.

There are so many marriages that are broken or hanging on by a thread. There is an incredible amount of disillusionment about the current state of matrimony in our society. It clearly is not held with the same esteem that it once was.

But I see my marriage as so much bigger than living happily ever after with the woman of my dreams. I see my marriage as a beacon of hope for others. I see what God is doing in us as something that will bring life to a single waiting for love to be awakened and restoration to the brokenhearted trying to pick up the pieces.

I don’t say this arrogantly. I say this because I believe God would do it through two people who have been broken enough in relationships that they KNOW that only He can sustain them. Two humble hearts that know they can do nothing apart from Christ’s love and redemption.

I know there are a lot of people who may think we’re naïve to think that our marriage is going to be so amazing. Some doubt it outright while others smile at us while thinking more realistic thoughts. They may say to themselves, “I really hope that’s true, but once you face the reality of how hard marriage is, you might not be singing the same tune.”

The good news is that we don’t have anything to prove other than God’s faithfulness. Even more than we want it, He wants it. It was His idea, after all.

As he perfects that work in us, my heart is to see hope restored to the holy covenant of marriage. My heart is to see a generation of lovers that raise children in two parent homes. My prayer is that a new wave of marriages will be strong and healthy as they encourage those coming after them to believe that marriage is one of most precious gifts God has given us.

Call me naïve but I’m expectant for a day when new marriages aren’t made fun of, they are celebrated. When sentiments go from condolences to congratulations.

I can’t say I have a vast amount of experience with depression but it did hit me pretty hard a few years ago. Strangely enough, I liked it. 

It’s difficult to explain but I try to do just that today over at my friend Alise’s blog. I shared my story as part of her Not Alone series. The series was so popular that she got a book deal for a collection of stories that people have shared with her.

Head over to her blog to read the rest of my post on the allure of depression and let me know what you think in the comments.

Continue Reading “The Allure of Depression”

Pride and humility are more closely linked than one would imagine. Some would say the two are in direct opposition. I say they are the same thing, just with different sources.

In James 4:6, it says that “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Many will look at a confident person and consider them proud. However, pride and humility are both confidence. Humility is confidence in God, pride is confidence in self.

Humility is the key to unlocking grace in our lives. When we realize that we don’t have to trust in ourselves, we can tap into the Source of all confidence.

In Andrew Murray’s book “Humility,” he states:

“Humility is not so much a grace or virtue along with others; it is the root of all, because it alone takes the right attitude before God, and allows Him as God to do all.”

As we gather more and more information, receive revelation and gain experience in life, it is tempting to put trust in ourselves. When we lose sight of the true Source and point it back to ourselves, we immediately receive opposition.

Proverbs 11:2 tells us that pride leads to destruction but humility leads to wisdom. In the New Testament, Paul speaks of a wisdom that is not of this world. This wisdom can only be uncovered through humility. Wisdom is always confident.

God wants to instill confidence in us. Not confidence in ourselves but confidence in Him. This confidence in God is increased in proportion to our humility. It will never be confused with pride when it is pointed to the right Source.

How do you distinguish between humble confidence and pride?

I haven’t heard many people talk about what grace is not so I thought I would share 3 things that I’ve identified.

1. Excusing Sin

Grace does not mean that sin is overlooked. Grace goes directly to actions and the resulting punishment. It smiles and says, “There is no condemnation for what you’ve done.” Then, grace points to the consequences and requires ownership. It says, “I’m not going to make you pay for your mistake, but you are responsible for cleaning it up.” Grace does not celebrate sin in any way.

2. Enabling Addiction

Grace will not allow you to stay stuck in bondage. It knows that addictions are different from infrequent mistakes. Cheap grace will excuse an addict because it’s easier than allowing them to clean up their mess. Cheap grace allows people to pity themselves. But grace knows that self-pity perpetuates addiction.

Grace will say “You’re better than that.” Grace says, “Look at all those you have affected by your actions. I love you and them so I’m not going to let you walk away without cleaning this up.” Grace will not stop saying these words. When a person appears hopeless, grace does not relent.

3. Weakness

Giving someone favor when they don’t deserve it isn’t weakness; it’s supernatural power. Many think that giving second, third and fourth chances is ridiculous. While some believe that unforgiveness is power they hold over another, it is actually a crippling weakness. Unforgiveness will make us bitter and resentful, even against our own will. Grace is the antithesis of weakness. Grace will not let the actions of others take control.

Grace Is

Furious love
Unrelenting compassion
Transforming power

When we understand what grace is not, we can fully appreciate how beautiful grace really is.

What does grace mean to you?

I buy those cheap, disposable razors. These go dull pretty quickly but inevitably, I still try to shave with them. It doesn’t matter how many times I cut up my face with a dull razor, I continue to return to the one that’s there. It’s not that I don’t know better, I just seem to forget what happened in the past.

There are some areas of my life for which I have selective amnesia. It doesn’t matter how important it is, if I haven’t responded correctly to the consequences of my actions, I’ll continue to repeat my mistake.

“For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.” James 1:23-25

The Hearer Who Forgets

One of my biggest struggles is pride. I may not always express it outwardly, but it festers on the inside. I recognize it and I constantly bring it back to God. I have received forgiveness and I constantly turn back to Jesus. I have made strides in this area but it is by no means completely removed from my life.

Ironically, the quality I dislike most in others is…pride. I tend to be least eager to show grace to someone who is pompous and prideful. I become quite self-righteous and will be the quickest to point to this failure in others.

You would think that the very thing which gives me the most difficulty would be the one I could relate to most. The reason that it isn’t is because with pride, I hear and forget.

I forget what it was like when I was at my lowest point of ugliness in my pride. I look at how much I’ve changed and become disgusted that others haven’t been able to overcome this sin. I forget when I was disgusting. My fear deceives me to believe that my self-righteousness is righteous anger.

The sin of another becomes a mirror exposing the unresolved sin in my own life.

The area where I should have grace in abundance becomes the area where I am a grace killer.

The Doer Who Acts

On the other hand, there are those lessons I’ve learned and learned well.

When my ex-wife divorced me, I needed grace more than ever. I received it and I applied it. I let it rebuke me, refine me and restore me.

Grace is active transformation, not passive information.

My heart bursts with compassion for others that are experiencing divorce. My first response is love and grace, not self-righteousness and judgement. It is because I fully embraced grace when I was in need.

The sin of another becomes a mirror reflecting the hope and restoration in my own life.

The area where I have failed becomes the area where I can champion grace in the life of others.

Forgiving Myself

One of the most difficult things I have had to do is forgive myself. I have no problem asking God for forgiveness and even thanking Him for it. All the while, I hold on to unforgiveness of myself.

I can’t go from hearing to doing until I can forgive myself and receive grace.

When you accept forgiveness through grace, you remember it. When you have a debt cancelled, you will remember when someone else owes you a debt. You are released from the burden of repayment.

The active transformation of grace becomes something you can pay forward.

When I release myself from the burden of unforgiveness by grace, I am no longer relegated to looking in the mirror and cutting myself with the rusty razor blade of hate.

Have you ever been susceptible to amnesic grace?